In advance of my weekend of single-parenthood (which I have done before), I thought this was a good a time as any to talk about the little person who makes me a parent. My Annie Bananie. (FYI, if you know me at all, you know I’m crying the entire time I write this.)
I have never questioned what I am meant to do. My higher calling is to be a mom. I was certain that this job was the one that I would excel at, and yet, while I was pregnant, I questioned how good I would be. As I mentioned before, I had a near perfect pregnancy and Matt was by my side for nearly every step. The only appointment Matt missed was the ultrasound where we learned that Annie was Annie. We had mentioned to the doctor that Matt was going to miss the appointment, and she said that we could reschedule. HA! I had waited 20 very long weeks for this day, there was no changing it. In exchange for Matt, my mom and sisters joined me for this monumental occasion, oh, and Matt was on speakerphone. I think the thought of a daughter scared the living !@#$ out of Matt. The thought of having a daughter scared the living !@#$ out of me.
I was ready for the end of my pregnancy at least 3 weeks before Annie was born. My due date (October 30th) came and went (I was a VERY pregnant black cat for Halloween). I was extremely disappointed to be seeing the doctor at 40 weeks pregnant. I pleaded with the doctor that my sister was flying home from college for the weekend to meet the baby, and there needed to be a baby for her to see. Annie is a Snowmaggeden 2010 baby; there was no room in the hospital to induce me unless medically necessary. I went back to the doctor 3 days in a row to sit for 30 minutes attached to monitors to find a reason to induce me. There was never a reason. Finally, we found an opening at the hospital; 9 am November 4th was our day. My phone rang at 6 am to tell me I was getting bumped. I was finally admitted to the hospital at 4:30. I had one round of inducing drugs at 8:30, then a stronger set at 3 am (now November 5th). My epidural didn’t fully take at 9 am, and anyone who was around helped me through contractions. My cousin E (from Boston) surprised me at the end of a contraction! My mom, Anna, and Mrs. A came in and out to keep us company during the day. Finally, in the early afternoon, it was decided that I would have a cesarean section. Again, we had to wait for more pressing births. I can’t tell you the name of the doctors or nurses who were in the operating room, but I remember every moment very clearly. The entire process was an out of body experience. When I heard Annie’s first cry, I was stunned at how overwhelmingly calm I felt.
I was madly in love with this tiny person who had just be inside me. There was nothing more I wanted to do than hold her. I needed her near me forever. I couldn’t hold her for nearly an hour after she was born. Once I finally held her, I was whole. I had waited 28 years to be called Mom, and it had finally happened. We struggled with breastfeeding, turns out Annie was tongue-tied. From the very beginning, Annie has been fabulous. We are incredibly lucky.
Despite the ups and downs I have had, or Matt and I have had, Annie makes everything better. Annie loves me unconditionally, and I hope that I can spend the rest of my life returning that love.
Annie and I had a very calm and uneventful day, and it was awesome. Matt has a conference in DC all weekend, and for the first time in several weekends, we have a lot of things to do. Just like the running and weight loss goal, I can do this, and I will do this. Hope everyone has a great weekend!