Today is Mr. A’s 62nd birthday. Unfortunately, he isn’t around to help us blow out his candles. Sadly, we lost Mr. A December 29, 2007. I try not to think about things in the past that I would change; losing Mr. A is the only thing I wish I could change. Unlike Mrs. A, I didn’t know Mr. A when I started dating Matt. In the 3 short years that I had to get to know Mr. A, I learned how hilarious he was, incredibly intelligent, and endlessly caring. I see these qualities and so many more in each of his children, especially Matt.
After 4 years, this hasn’t gotten any easier; Matt and I have shed many, many tears about Mr. A. We are now faced with how to handle this with Annie. We have plenty of photos around the house of Mr. A, and we make a point to point out “Poppa.” Annie knows who Poppa is. When we brought Annie home from the hospital, we took a detour to visit the cemetery first. Matt and Mr. A had some connection with penguins, and has become a general family “thang.” We call anything with penguins on it “Poppa Penguins.”
In the year after Mr. A’s death, we made a point to spend all important dates as a family. We’ve slacked off in last few years; whether because of various schedules or just life events, we aren’t always together on days that we might need each other the most. After my therapist suggested that we should begin a tradition with Annie on the anniversary of Mr. A’s death, Matt and I decided that we liked that idea. Of course, we wanted to make a happy tradition and we thought that marking the anniversary of his death wasn’t particularly happy. Today, Mr. A’s birthday, Annie and I baked and decorated a cake. We lit a candle and we sang. I think this is a great tradition.
Matt and I have a black-tie event tomorrow night, and I am really looking forward to going out with him. I love when we dress up, since it’s so rare for us. Running yesterday wasn’t too bad, but tomorrow looks rough. I am really glad that I still have 9 1/2 weeks before the 5k. I cashed in on my reward for having done half of my training; I got my pedicure tonight! As frustrated as I am about my weight, I am seeing bluer skies and prettier rainbows. Life is starting to look good.